Presented by The Art Institute of Pittsburgh

Hi, I'm Rex, I'm a dinosaur and this is my blog.

Rex

Super Ninja Robot Sea Monster Dino!

While I was angrily ranting and raving about those jerk Geekologie writers making fun of my arms, AIP student Eric happened to be walking by and this happened:

Rex: RAWR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eric: You okay, Rex?

Rex: RAWR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eric: Uh-oh. What happened?

Rex: RAWR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  [shows Eric the Geekologie post]

Eric: Aw. Silly nerds.  Here, this will make you feel better.

And Eric whipped out his drawing pad and quickly sketched a picture showing how he views me:

robotdino

Yes. Robot Ninja Sea Monster Dinosaur rules Pittsburgh!

I asked Eric to be sure to include in the sketch the Geekologie writers, Barney, Matt Lamanna, Scott Mervis and all the other enemies I have and he did.

Don’t you see them?

They’re in that there plane I just sent down in a ball of fire.

I feel better already.

Rawr.


Rex

Mentoring. Because I have knowledge.

I try to be a generous monstrous killer death lizard.

I — you’re laughing. That’s quite rude.

I know I have a lot of enemies. I know I’m easily angered. I know I have killed a lot. I know — yeah, I know why you’re laughing.

But still, giving back is important, so I’ve taken a youngster under my wing, so to speak. Of course if I had a wing, I’d be a pterodactyl and if I was a pterodactyl, I’d be a wuss … I’ve digressed.

I signed up to be a mentor with Big Dinosaurs of America.  Meet Jake.

(Created by student Josh Hoover)

He’ll be shadowing me for a bit as I teach him the things he didn’t learn in school.

As you can see, he excelled brilliantly at Lesson #1:  Roaring and Looking Super Scary

Now we’re walking down the block for Lesson #2: Making Scott Mervis Pee his Pants … Twice.

Rawr.


era: Cenozoic . species: ,
Rex

Parade! Again!

Like all Pittsburghers, there are three things I can’t get enough of: ponies, fireworks, and parades.

Good thing we’re the City of Champions (and the Pirates. Oh, yes, I went there.) so we have lots of chances for ticker tape victory parades.

For the most part, the humans stayed off of me during the parade, until these two yahoos (technical term) hopped up for photos.

That is a photo from the Post-Gazette. (Excuse me while I look down at their building and hiss in the general direction of that [redacted by Rex] Scott Mervis. Hissss.)

First, the blond holding my hand? Total babe. Don’t tell Sally!

Second, the yahoos, they’re totally standing on me. It’s okay. Here’s the after picture:

Don’t mess with Rex, or you get the flung rubber band treatment.

Also, you’ll note I flung them through the air at such a speed they lost their clothes somewhere in midair.  I can’t even tell you how awesome that is.

Rawr.


Rex

Dinosaur, tranq thyself.

Okay, so listen. Norm is off today and he has left me with specific anti-destruction instructions that go something like this: “Don’t destroy anything in my absence or we will melt you down.”

Problem, SOMEONE STOLE MY FRICKIN’ OCTOPUS WHILE I WAS SLEEPING!

Are you kidding me?

This explains why the Pens lost and lost so miserably. Someone took the octopus and gave the Red Wings their mojo back.

Here are the people I’m currently stalking, believing they may have taken it:

1. “Dr.” Matt Lamanna. This might be wishful thinking on my part so that I finally have a legitimate excuse to give him the stretchy treatment. That’s when I grab your legs in one hand, your arms in the other and, well, you get the picture.

2. Whoever took my running shoes.

3. Scott Mervis. I will destroy him.

4. Barney. He just LOOKS like he would support a team that had a purple mascot. This also might be wishful thinking on my part so that I finally have a legitimate excuse to [redacted by Norm's boss].

5.  Marian Hossa. I WILL DESTROY HIM!

So, I’m going to be out and about for the remainder of the day trying to get to the bottom of this.

I need three volunteers:

  • One to find me a new octopus, dead or alive.
  • One to stand outside the Post-Gazette building and let me know if Scott Mervis shows the whites of his eyes.
  • One to tranq me when it finally really truly hits me that SOMEONE STOLE MY FRICKIN’ OCTOPUS.

RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!