Presented by The Art Institute of Pittsburgh

Hi, I'm Rex, I'm a dinosaur and this is my blog.

Rex

Various Curiosities

1.  Why am I not wearing any Penguins gear?  We are halfway through the first round of playoffs and I’m standing here COMPLETELY and UTTERLY NAKED!

If this were football season, I’d at least have a dead raven or a mangled cardinal or a begging bengal in my mouth by now.

2.  Norm won’t let me tweet on twitter, but he told me that Oprah recently joined twitter.

Oprah is on twitter?!

What could she possibly have to tweet about?

Oprah Made a gazillion dollars today.

Oprah Spent a billion dollars this afternoon.

Oprah Made a trillion bamillion eleventy google dollars this hour

Oprah Living my best life.

Oprah Spent a billion dollars

Oprah Living my best life with the rainbow of fruit flavors of my chi.

I mean, really.  Some people don’t need to be on twitter.

3.  Is Barney on twitter?

I don’t want to know.

4. One of AIP’s own was profiled in the Tribune Review.  He is Barron Whited, the director of counseling.  I bet he’s the guy Norm runs to when I make him cry.

5.  Ignoring the grossly minuscule size of the arms, here’s a really wonderful t-shirt you can get from Snorg.

Rawr doesn’t really mean “I love you.”  SOMETIMES it means “I love you” and sometimes it means “I’m going to eat you.”

It’s all in the inflection.

Also, that girl is cute.

Don’t tell Sally!!

6.  Chasing a wild turkey the other day, I ran 10 miles in three minutes.  This is stellar time, so I’ve decided to run in the Pittsburgh marathon.  Which means I REALLY need to find those shoes or the person that stole the shoes. In the meantime, I’m running barefoot.  Hopefully I won’t get injured because it would be just like Norm to take me to “Dr.” Matt Lamanna for treatment, and the next thing you know I’m a poorly assembled statue of rickety bones placed in his museum for the kids to look at.

Rawr! (guess which one I mean)


Rex

Okay/Not Okay

Today’s edition of Okay/Not Okay covers baking products.

Okay:

These are adorable little cookie cutters you can use for your child’s dinosaur-themed birthday party (as if there was any other kind).

NOT OKAY!

Norm sent me this link wondering if “Dr.” Matt Lamanna had anything to do with this product and I must say, I’m pretty sure Norm was laughing hysterically as he sent the email.

I don’t think I’ve ever been this angry in my life and that includes the time that the cavemen managed to saddle me and ride me like a horse.

Get your tranq gun powered up, Norm, because there’s about to be some destroying happening up in here.

RAWRRRRRR!


Rex

Lost.

I went to go for a run today (NOT TO CHASE AND EAT ANYTHING, NORM! Just a run. A nice jog down the street in the sunshine, you paranoid [redacted by Norm]) to keep my heart strong and healthy. You don’t get to live to be 65-million-years-old by not taking care of yourself.

Ten square meals a day consisting of the five food groups (meat, meat, meat, meat and MEAT!) and a good jog, preferably after some fleeing meat, is my secret, if you’re wondering.

However, when I went to look for my running shoes this morning, they were missing.

I can’t imagine who would be brave enough to steal a dinosaur’s shoes, because that goes against the human being’s survival instinct. Therefore, I must assume that I misplaced them.

I’ve looked everywhere. Sally hasn’t seen them and gave me a huge lecture about keeping track of my own [redacted by Norm], a lecture so intense I tried to sprout wings and fly.

I thoroughly trashed Norm’s place and they’re not there.

Here’s a picture taken from my slide show.

Let me know if you see them. Or if you took them … I’ll give you a ten-second head start before I give chase, you succulent piece of meat.

Rawr.


Rex

PAPJONBDTHRPYUTIONWTRINW Day!

Today is Tax Day for you humans and from what I’ve been able to gather from my human friends and from the students who stop to chat with me is that Tax Day makes people openly weep.

They mentioned something about “pillaging” and “plundering” and “I’ll be eating Ramen for six months, it looks like.”

You humans are very odd sometimes.

Because I care about you and I don’t want you to be sad, we should associate Tax Day with something other than weeping, pillaging, plundering, and ramen, don’t you agree?  So how about from now on Tax Day is not only Tax Day it is also Play A Practical Joke On Norm But Don’t Tell Him Rex Put You Up To It Otherwise Norm Will Tranq Rex Into Next Week Day.

I suggest you do any of the following if you see my handler:

  • Steal his MacBook and give it to me because I am forced to use a PC. Windows makes me rawry.
  • Replace his MacBook with an HP and make sure Vista is installed on it.
  • Use his avatar to comment on other sites, especially any “I Love Barney The Purple Dinosaur” forums.
  • If he’s carrying a tranq gun and has kind of a mad look on his face, trip him. He’ll love that. So funny.

There, now Tax Day isn’t so terrible, is it? In fact, it’s kind of awesome now.

Rawr.


era: Cenozoic . species:
Rex

In remembrance of Norm.

Remember that thing I said about Easter coming up and that if I even smelled bunny ears I was going to get teethy about it?

And remember how Norm is my handler who gets to pick my holiday costumes?

And remember how Norm has a tranq gun?

And remember how I really really really really didn’t want bunny ears?

I woke up today and I’m sporting some bunny ears.  How about that?

rex-easter09

Hey, remember Norm?

I hope you do, because you may never see that guy again, at least not after you see him running down the Boulevard of the Allies screaming in terror and blindly firing tranq darts at the roaring mad tyrannosaurus rex that’s hot on his heels with giant teeth a-snapping and giant bunny ears a-flopping.

Rawr.

[Wrangler Responds]

Rex, I just wanted to let you know your mom sent me an email this afternoon. She’s wanted to let me know she is happy you are doing so well in the big city (and to say you should call more often). Anyway she also wrote in to tell me how happy she is to see you looking so cute, and that you used to look sooo cute when you were just a hatchling. Because your mom is so great she forwarded me this photo. Happy Easter!

baby-bunny


Rex

A Rex Quiz

Who said it?

“This is ampiocoelias, this bruhathakayosaurus, puertasaurus, argentinosaurus, turiasaurus and this one is argyrosaurus.”

A.  Sally, showing me pictures of all of her former boyfriends. None of whom had a blog. Pbthh!

B.  “Dr.” Matt Lamanna, just making up crap, as usual. “Oooh, look, a Doofusaurus!”

C.  Norm, showing me dinosaurs that he can replace me with if I don’t behave myself more often. Pbthh!

D.  A five-year-old human kid from Czechoslovakia named Petr.

Of course the answer is D!

A five-year-old boy showed a formidable memory and pronunciation in a palentology test on Tuesday when he managed to distinguish 69 dinosaur species, to the astonishment of the examiners from an agency for national records registration.

If I could adopt a human child, this is the child I would adopt.

Also, I bet he would treat me better than Norm because I bet Petr would understand that sometimes, it’s okay for a dinosaur to crave zoo animals.

Rawr.