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Hi, I'm Rex, I'm a dinosaur and this is my blog.

Rex

St. Patrick’s Day Parade Recap

It is on beautiful days like this that I find myself skipping happily down the Boulevard of the Allies, not caring at all about the giant claw-shaped potholes I’m leaving behind.

No worries.  Our mayor declared war on potholes last week, so I’m sure my tracks will be covered in no time.  Watch your undercarriages, in the meantime.

Let’s talk St. Patrick’s Day parade!

As mentioned, I had the best seat on the street.  Unfortunately my camera didn’t survive because I shattered it into a thousand pieces when I tried to take the first picture.  It is very frustrating, sometimes, being the strongest most awesome creature on Earth.

Luckily, good friends all over town took some snapshots so that I can show you what you missed:

1.  First, all of the wonderful smells coming from delicious snacks were absolutely distractingly mouthwatering.  Here are a few that really had my juices flowing:

Nick’s photostream

Michael Murphy’s photostream

I have never seen such a large frog in my life.  Juicy!  And look, a belt for convenient flossing!

Jenn and Jon’s Photostream

Now we’re talking!  Look at the size of that drumstick!  That’s got to be from a woolly mammoth for sure don’t you think?

Can I get that with french fries on top?

2.  There were several things about the parade that confused me.  Perhaps you humans can help a dinosaur out?

Jenn and Jon’s Photostream

First, is this really an official member of the parade?  If so, then am I understanding correctly that anyone that wishes to be part of a Pittsburgh parade can do so?  How very inclusive of you.  Second, as you can see, the dog’s name is Big Beyonce.  In and of itself?  Awesome.  Coupled with the owner’s “Hoodbillies” shirt, peekaboo bellybutton and caveman beard?  Magnificence.  I might laugh for days at this.  You humans know how to tickle a dino’s funny bone.

3.  This confused me too.

Jenn and Jon’s Photostream

What does a giant banana have to do with Ireland?  Really.  I’m asking.  Are your children entertained by watching a person prance in a banana suit?  Really.  I’m asking.  Educate me.

4.  The Pittsburgh St. Patrick’s Day Parade.  The only parade in the world where you can see both Jesus and a giant walking glass of beer.

mtsonic’s photostream

5.   This, I’m told, is Miss Blarney Bubbles.

Jenn and Jon again.

Words.  I have no words.  Just questions.  Lots of questions.

6.  Do you ever wonder what it’s like to be a dinosaur looking down on all the little people and things?  Here you go.

Jenn and Jon’s Photostream

It’s just like that, but with more running away screaming in terror.

Because I’m very terrifying, you see.

7.  Speaking of terrifying, I’m going to share a little secret with you.  I’m terrified of clowns.  I probably feel about clowns the way you humans feel about roaches.  They’re creepy little things that should be crushed if they don’t scurry away fast enough.

Look at this one that was in the parade.

mtsonic’s photostream

He killed ELMO!

That’s just wrong.

So to recap:  parade = fun!, food = delicious!, clowns = scary!, and Elmo = dead.

Thanks to all of you wonderful friends for the great photos.  Next year?  Take more pictures of that handsome and charming and terrifying dinosaur Rex.  You know?  The one cowering in fear of the clowns?

Rawr.


Rex

Poo!

Good morning, kids!

What a weekend.  Stick around because I’m going to be posting a photographic recap of the city’s St. Patrick’s Day Parade.

Before I get to that though, did you see this story out of London?!

THIEVES stole a lump of fossilised dinosaur dung from London’s Natural History Museum, it was revealed today.

According to a list of specimens stolen or lost from the museum’s collection over the past five years, the 65-million-year-old piece of dung, or coprolite, measuring about 7.5cm, was stolen while it was secured in a clamp on display in 2006.

First, it is just an odd coincidence, I assure you, that the poop is the same age as me.

Second, I know nothing about the flaming bag of dinosaur poo burning on “Dr.” Matt Lamanna’s porch.

Rawr.
[print_link]


Rex

Erin go away and stop dressing me so ridiculously.

Zeus’s lightning bolts, readers!

I woke up this morning and, well … bagpipes?  REALLY?

At first I assumed the students were playing a joke on me because this is Friday the 13th and if you read on down, you’ll see what Friday the 13th means to a dinosaur.

But this is not a joke.  This is a school-approved Saint Patrick’s Day costume.

I have some things I’d like to say about this:

1.  Who is in charge of costuming me?  I’d like a name; I’d like a location and I’d like to show that person my teeth.

2.  Does my colossal mouth filled with those aforementioned sharp teeth look like it has any chance at all of puckering around that tiny bagpipe mouth piece?  I don’t think so.  Next year, just give me some shiny beads to throw to the ladies.

3.  I’m pretty sure the bagpipes are supposed to go UNDER my arm.  First person to make a “ha-ha.  T-rexes have tiny little useless arms” joke is also going to get up close and personal with my sharp teeth.

4.  It was 20 degrees last night.  You think I could have had a scarf or something?  I’m hoarse this morning and my rawr sounds like a little kitten purring at a piece of lint.  Not very useful when I need to let the students know I don’t appreciate being leaned on.  I need a thunder-filled RAWR for that if I want to make them pee their pants.  That’s just funny.

5. I can’t be sure, but I think I’m really holding a faded Italian flag.

6.  The city’s St. Patrick’s Day Parade is coming right past me tomorrow so I’ll have the best seat on the street.  My flickr stream is going to be off the hook.  A note:  If you climb up on me to get a better view of the parade, I cannot be held responsible for the injuries you suffer when my dinosaur instincts kick in and whisper to me that you smell just like a juicy hadrosaur. You’ve been warned.

Rawr.