Presented by The Art Institute of Pittsburgh

Hi, I'm Rex, I'm a dinosaur and this is my blog.

Rex

Various Curiosities.

It’s Monday and cold here in Pittsburgh. So cold that we actually got some snow last night. And it’s Spring. And practically April.

Oh, you humans and your big global warming joke. Ha-ha. Funny.

1.  Pitt, it would appear, is NOT it.

Grrrawr.

2. Norm emailed me this link saying, “Check this guy out.”  So I checked out the site written by some male human named Cotter and found this:

I’d really like to be the guy who writes this blog. If anyone knows how to make that happen, please let me know [Creation Rex]

Mistah Cotter (har), I understand why you would want to be a dinosaur, but why in the world would AIP ask a mere human being to write their dinosaur’s blog?  You write your human blog and I’ll write my dinosaur blog and no one gets eaten or stomped, deal?

3.  Reader CopySix linked me to this story out of England:

This is the moment a group of students tried to abduct a giant model dinosaur from a museum as a drunken prank.

The young men had been out celebrating the end of their course when they walked past the life-size monster.

Deciding to relocate it in the middle of a roundabout as a joke, they set about lifting the 20ft long and 10ft tall plastic triceratops.

It took ten of them carry the giant model over an iron gate outside the Dinosaur Museum in Dorchester, Dorset.

But just as they carried it off above their heads into the night, they were stopped in their tracks by a policeman.

My God.  I have friends that are Triceratops and when they are mad, they aim low. How drunk does one need to be to not care about what a Triceratops’ horn can do to your posterior? Trust me. I’ve seen it. It is exactly as gruesome as you’re imagining a triceratops horn to the posterior to be.

Incidentally, I once tried to date a Triceratops (don’t tell Sally), but let me tell you. Horns. They get in the way.

Also:

The museum’s website says the models ‘beg to be touched by little hands – and that is encouraged.

I realize you have been alive less than my 65 million years, so I don’t mind educating you about this. Life Lesson by Rex: Encouraging kids to manhandle a dinosaur is poor parenting.

My final note. If you guys ever try to steal me, I will be picking Burgher meat from my teeth for weeks.

3.  Okay/Not Okay

Our category today is animated dinosaur toys.

This one is okay:

Not okay:

I don’t know what the heck kind of dinosaur that “Rex” is supposed to be, but I know that T-Rexes don’t have green leaves growing out of their spines. God. I bet “Dr.” Matt Lamanna designed this thing.

4.  Hee. What? Like you wouldn’t kill Barney if given the chance.

Rawr.


Rex

Various curiosities.

First off, so sorry for not posting anything yesterday.  I thought I had a reading on the whereabouts of “Dr.” Matt Lamanna so that I could, ah, never mind.

He’s still alive, okay?

Lots to talk about today here in rainy, but not cold Pittsburgh:

1.  PITT!!

I don’t know where you’ll be tonight, but I’ll be glued to the television watching Pitt demolish Xavier and that traitor Sean Miller.  Forgive me for not wearing my Pitt is It! shirt, but apparently my handler/wrangler Norm has better things to do than show his support for our local universities.  I mean, I get that this is AIP and that I represent AIP … oh, I get it.  Never mind.  Don’t send me a nasty email, Norm.

2.  The local mayoral election is getting fired up now with debates between the candidates being scheduled.  I must say I find your “elections” with your “voting” and “civilized transfer of power” to be quite amusing.  Seems to me the dinosaur way is best: whoever doesn’t get eaten, wins.

But since you’re all civilized and stuff now, I have got to wonder, like Calvin, where do the candidates stand on dinosaur issues?

I speak on behalf of all dinosaurs when I say that we’d like bigger french fries, bigger urinals, stronger pavement, and the eradication of scary scary clowns.

3.  The Pittsburgh Penguins are winning the Stanley Cup this year.  I feel it in my bones and my bones are rarely wrong.  Like that time that asteroid was coming at us and all the other dinosaurs were looking at it saying, “Oooooh.  Pretty.”  but I had a bad feeling and I went and hid in the mountain cave.  Thank you, bones.

If they do win, I better be outfitted in some serious hockey gear for the parade, do you hear me, Norm?  I want a helmet and a giant stick and a Malkin jersey in XXXXXXXXXL and a puck bunny on my arm.  Don’t tell Sally.

4.  Here’s a quote from an article I found this morning while reading my Post-Gazette (also, mayoral candidates, we dinosaurs would like larger newspapers):

Tyrannosaurus rex, a meat eater and the most famous of the dinosaurs (emphasis mine because it makes me feel good), was about 35 feet long. Figures for the longest and tallest are expected to change with ongoing finds in the Southern Hemisphere.

Yeah, if they ever find my friend Andrew C. they are going to be astounded.  Andy could crush fifty hadrosaurs with one foot.  Also, have you ever had a hadrosaur pancake in your life?  Delicious.

I miss Andy’s “cooking.”

5.  Finally, Norm wanted me to mention this event coming up here at AIP on Saturday:  Sketchy Jr.

This is a chance for students in grades 8-12 to draw to a live DJ and win prizes and stuff.  Norm tells me that models dressed as video game divas will be here.

He said something else, too, but I stopped listening after “models dressed as video game divas.”

Rawr.


Rex

Poo!

Good morning, kids!

What a weekend.  Stick around because I’m going to be posting a photographic recap of the city’s St. Patrick’s Day Parade.

Before I get to that though, did you see this story out of London?!

THIEVES stole a lump of fossilised dinosaur dung from London’s Natural History Museum, it was revealed today.

According to a list of specimens stolen or lost from the museum’s collection over the past five years, the 65-million-year-old piece of dung, or coprolite, measuring about 7.5cm, was stolen while it was secured in a clamp on display in 2006.

First, it is just an odd coincidence, I assure you, that the poop is the same age as me.

Second, I know nothing about the flaming bag of dinosaur poo burning on “Dr.” Matt Lamanna’s porch.

Rawr.
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Rex

Friday the 13th. Boo!

Friday the 13th!  Friday the 13th is supposed to be some sort of spooky bad news kind of day for humans, but for us dinosaurs it’s much different.  This is the day I like to play practical jokes on the students here at AIP.  Art students, I tell you what, they scare easily.

When I was a wee lad growing up in Montana, me and my best friends would play some seriously brilliant practical jokes on the cave-dwellers.

Me, Art, Fred, Don, and Sally would wait until the cave family fell asleep.  This ususally involved us waiting until the kids finished coloring on the walls and Mom and Dad tucked them into their corners to sleep.  After Dad was done dragging mom around by the hair, we would hear them snoring loudly.  This was our cue.  The five of us, all 20 tons of us, would creep to the mouth of the cave and start jumping up and down, shaking so violently the very earth the cave family slept on that they were convinced the angry gods were rending the earth in two.

The whole family would run screaming out of the cave and we’d be pointing and laughing,“Ha-ha-ha! It’s just us! Rawr!” and they’d be mad and waving sticks at us shouting, “A googla pleegla ba ba boo! Sritchy meetcha fee fee!”

I have no idea what that means.  I don’t speak Stupid B.C.

Rawr.


era: Prehistoric . species: