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Hi, I'm Rex, I'm a dinosaur and this is my blog.

Rex

A bargain, for sure.

Late Pittsburgher Andy Warhol (just another one of the billions of people I have outlived) had a self-portrait sell for a whopping $32.6 million at auction at Southeby’s when famed fashion designer Tom Ford put it on the block.

It’s basically a giant painting of a skinny purple man with messy hair, and Norm informs me that as an official representative of a respected and reputable art school, I should have a better appreciation of iconic art and should not call it a “giant painting of a skinny purple man with messy hair.”

He gets particularly mad when I call the Mona Lisa “that ugly chick.”

Forget skinny and messy, here’s an even better painting that I will sell for the low low bargain basement price of $25 million.

Does anyone have Tom Ford’s number because I understand he has a giant blank space on his wall now.

Rawr.


era: Cenozoic . species: ,
Rex

They started it, right?

I eat two measly little Canadians, and ANNOYING Canadians at that, and the Habs fans think they can steal some of our mojo by stomping on a Sidney Crosby jersey?

First of all, you giant idiots, Crosby IS a Canadian. You stomped his jersey and that means bad mojo for Canada and good mojo for the Pens.

Second of all, back atcha.

Rawr.


era: Cenozoic . species:
Rex

May the fourth be with you.

In Norm’s apartment:

Norm: What the heck are you doing?

Rex: Using the Force.

Norm: What force?

Rex: THE Force.

Norm: The — hah hah — Jedi Force?

Rex: Laugh, you do. Eat you, I will.

Norm: What are you attempting to use the Force to do, exactly, because it looks like you’re just sitting there on the couch with your eyes shut real tightly.

Rex: From you, silence. Concentrating, I am.

Norm: On what!? Oh, never mind. Move please, I think you’re sitting on my laptop.

Rex: Sitting on it, I am.

Norm: Then move!

Rex: Move, I will not.

Norm: You’ll crush it!

Rex: Yes. Crush it, I will. [opens eyes] Unless you pay me a hundred bucks.

Norm: No way.

Rex: [closes eyes] Then crush it, I will. A thousand pieces, into. A pressure slight, it will only take. Watch –

Norm: OKAY! I’ll give you a hundred bucks!

Rex: Here’s your laptop. And what do you know, the Force works.

Having discovered that I do in fact have the powers of the Jedi Force, and also having a hundred dollars to burn, I bought myself a snazzy new outfit for May 4th, also known as Star Wars Day.

What do you think?

We’re going to have a photo shoot on Tuesday, May 4th at noon if you want to come down here and get your picture taken with me looking all Jedi-awesome. I wonder if I can get the mayor to come down and visit me so I can get a chance to say, “Luke, I am your FAH-THER!”

I just realized though, that I don’t have a light saber and I’ve used all my money on my costume. Looks like I’m going to have to use the Force to get some more money out of Norm.

I wonder how much me NOT sitting on his car would be worth?

Rawr.


Rex

You can’t eat just one.

Well, apparently my little encounter with Justin Bieber wasn’t enough good mojo to hold the Pens over for the entire series, as they lost to the Montreal Canadiens yesterday afternoon, tying the series up one game each.

It looks like I’m going to have to eat an even MORE annoying Canadian for them.

And you are not allowed to email me that Jim Carrey is not annoying until you go and read his twitter stream.

Then you’ll be begging me to swallow him whole just so he can be digested alive.

Rawr.


era: Cenozoic . species: