
I did it for you.
by Rex on April 7, 2010Dear Pittsburgh,
The Pirates won their home opener to the tune of 11-5 and I just wanted to say, “You are welcome,” and that “gifts of carcass are customary in such a circumstance.”
Fearing that 17 years of losing wasn’t enough motivation for the Pirates to play like winners, I decided to go and give a little motivational “pep talk” to the team before their first game of the season.
And by “pep talk” I mean teethy, rawr-filled threats of bodily harm.
Let me answer your questions now: No, I wasn’t invited. Yes, I broke in. No, Norm didn’t know about it. Yes, someone called him. No, he wasn’t happy. Yes, he went Rambo on me with it. No, I don’t know anything about the 150 pounds of hot dogs that disappeared.
Yes, I could use some Pepto, thanks.
Rawr.
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