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Hi, I'm Rex, I'm a dinosaur and this is my blog.

Rex

So, the Canadiens it is.

Less than two hours until the puck drops, and I’m doing what needs to be done for the Pens’ chances against the Canadiens.

To every person on the planet who is not a 13-year-old girl, you’re welcome.

Rawr.


era: Cenozoic . species:
Rex

Aboot last week.

I know. I know. It’s not that I mean to disappear for a week at a time, leaving Norm wondering where I’ve gone to and if I’m getting in trouble and how on earth it can be so darn difficult to track down a monstrous killer death lizard on the loose in Pittsburgh, it’s just that, it’s very hard to find a senator ripe for the taking.

As it happens, while I was stalking Senator Casey in DC, I learned the Pens managed to beat the Senators because Jake texted me with the score (you should see the size of my cell phone; it’s called an iPad).

I returned to Pittsburgh to find Norm waiting with guns blazing and with solidified plans to chain me down when he goes to sleep at night.

Either way, the Pens move on to round two, where I’m either eating a Bruin or a Canadien.

I’m hoping for a Canadian because I have no clue on earth what a bruin is.  It could be a car or a tree for all I know.  At least with a Canadian, I know I’m getting some bloody carcass, eh?

Rawr.


era: Cenozoic . species: , ,
Rex

All I’m asking for is one little senator!

So, as you know, the Penguins did not win their game and the reason they did not win is this …

Norm wouldn’t let me eat a senator.

I’m not even asking for a United States Senator! A lowly state senator would do. I wonder if I can get a state senator to “take one for the team,” so to speak. I wouldn’t even kill him. Just maim him a little bit.

Also, do you guys read the Pensblog?  They’re having a little photoshop contest about what “Out for Justice,” the phrase on the back of the White-Out shirts, means to you.

Here’s what I submitted:

I think the word you’re searching for is “bazinga!”

Rawr.


era: Cenozoic . species: ,
Rex

Let’s go Pens!

As you can see, I am showing my Penguins pride today by wearing my white shirt for tonight’s White Out as our boys take on the Senators in game 1 of the first playoff round.

I wish I could do more to help the Pens’ mojo, but Norm has this really ridiculous rule about me not being allowed to eat Senators.

Rawr.


era: Prehistoric . species: , ,
Rex

I did it for you.

Dear Pittsburgh,

The Pirates won their home opener to the tune of 11-5 and I just wanted to say, “You are welcome,” and that “gifts of carcass are customary in such a circumstance.”

Fearing that 17 years of losing wasn’t enough motivation for the Pirates to play like winners, I decided to go and give a little motivational “pep talk” to the team before their first game of the season.

And by “pep talk” I mean teethy, rawr-filled threats of bodily harm.

Let me answer your questions now: No, I wasn’t invited. Yes, I broke in. No, Norm didn’t know about it.  Yes, someone called him. No, he wasn’t happy. Yes, he went Rambo on me with it.  No, I don’t know anything about the 150 pounds of hot dogs that disappeared.

Yes, I could use some Pepto, thanks.

Rawr.


era: Cenozoic . species: