My goodness. I take one little week off from my blog and oh, my God, the MOURNING.
The calls, the emails, the WHY, REX, WHY?!!?s.
Can’t a dino have a little life outside his famous, well-written, fantastically trafficked, future award-winning blog?
According to Norm, I can’t, and he was not too happy to discover that I had disappeared.
I’m sorry. It’s cold here in Pittsburgh. I’m cold-blooded. That means however cold you are at any particular point in time, I am thousands and thousands of hundreds of millions times colder (and cooler) than you. I’m not exaggerating.
I got sick of the cold and so I decided to find out where in the world Leo and Leonis were having their latest adventure. And once I found out that they were still in sunny California, I headed out West.
Dear Dollar Bank, I have no idea where Leo and Leonis are. Swear to Zeus and all the stupid caveman gods.
Anyway, we spent some time on the beaches of California surfing and being warm. Leo and Leonis showed me around Venice Beach and I took a bus tour that visited the stars’ homes.
You can imagine my anger when I discovered that the tour only brought you to look at the OUTSIDE of the stars’ homes. That was ridiculous because that’s like accepting money for a movie rental and then only giving the customer the box the movie came in. “Look at the cute little chipmunks. They sing and are adorable. Here’s the DVD box. Now give me four dollars and go home to imagine what the movie is like.”
I understandably got angry and maybe a bit destructive and I may or may not be wanted in California for what I did to the gate leading to Jennifer Aniston’s home.
With California conquered, we headed to Arizona for a nice dry heat and some swimming in the tallest fountain in the world. That’s something to add to our travel scrapbooks. Here we are enjoying the sunny day:
But how were we to know that swimming is not allowed and that the tourists would freak so far out at the sight of two lions and a dinosaur taking a cooling swim? And how were we to know that Norm had basically put an APB out on my whereabouts? And how were we to know how accurate a shot that fat, old security guard would be with a tranq gun?
So, I woke up back here at the Art Institute of Pittsburgh, a bit sunburned, very groggy, and POSSIBLY sporting a new tattoo.
As for Leo and Leonis, the last I saw of them, they were making a break for it, swimming like mad for the bank of the fountain pool with tranq darts branded with “Dollar Bank” sticking out of their necks.
But I’m back and I’m happy to see that it is not as cold as it was when I left. All in all, my time out West was one of the greatest adventures of my life and that includes the time I invented Caveman Ball.
Blor’s kid Blor was NOT a very good ball.
Also, chipmunks are delicious.