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Hi, I'm Rex, I'm a dinosaur and this is my blog.

Rex

The day you’ve been waiting for.

Remember when I wrote that I asked Norm for some art supplies because I had a hunch that after 65 million years of living, I’m probably a fantastic artist?

To Norm “art supplies” apparently meant a tablet of paper and a Sharpie.

It doesn’t matter. He could have given me a piece of cardboard and a broken white crayon and I still would have created a masterpiece called Snow. Talent like this isn’t limited by mere art tools.

My point here is that 1. Norm is cheap and 2. I AM a fantastic artist!

First up, this is my portrait of Norm, my wrangler, my handler, my sometimes friend, and my carcass bringer:

Note the attention to detail. Norm has clearly just unloaded his tranq gun into me and is laughing with evil glee as I fall slowly to the ground. Note his true-to-life nose. Note his dorky hat. I call this one “Norm”. You can buy the original from me for $6,500 or a dead sheep. Whatever you’ve got.

Here’s one I drew of the Mayor reading me the list of things I am not allowed to do during G-20:

You’ll note from my expression that I zoned out somewhere between number 1 and the end of number 1. Also, note the dorky hat. I’m not selling this one because I think “Selling dorky pictures of me” was number 622 on the list. I call this one “Blah Blah Blah”.

Here I am swimming in the river.

Note I’m not wearing any clothes. Note my incredible biceps. I’m selling this one for $7,000, unless you are a babe, then you can have it for free as long as you DON’T TELL SALLY!

Speaking of babes, here is my drawing of some adoring fans seeking pictures and autographs:

Note the babe and the look of adoration in her eyes. Note that I am considering disposing of her boyfriend with the dorky hair.  Note my incredible biceps.

Now that I’ve finally shared my talent with the world, I’m going to talk to Norm about holding a show at the gallery here at AIP. If these sketches alone don’t convince him of my talent, then this one surely will:

I call it “Cow”. I know. It’s terrifying how awesome I am.

Rawr.


era: Cenozoic . species: , ,
Rex

The snacks have run amok

Just noticed this on Norm’s twitter:

Uh. If I used twitter this would be the part where I would tweet: “I DON”T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT, NORM!” and then I would race home because chances are my snacks have escaped.

Crap.

But again, Norm, I would just like to reiterate that I don’t know anything about the squirrels.  Or the possums.

Rawr.


era: Cenozoic . species:
Rex

Mucking up the gene pool.

Just the other day I said to myself, Rex, being so handsome and perfectly proportioned and fearsome, could you imagine being a dinosaur with the head of an ostrich, the teeth of a horse, the talons of a parrot and the body of an obese kangaroo?

I thought I would feel sorry for such a dinosaur, until I saw the Nothronychus Graffami which lived 30 million years before I was born king:

What I’m feeling isn’t so much pity as much as it’s LOOK AT THE UGLY LOSER!

I bet the cavemen built an entire dialect around all the words they invented to make fun of this thing, the first of which I bet was “BOOFUGAH!”

Rawr.