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Hi, I'm Rex, I'm a dinosaur and this is my blog.

Rex

Rex’s (and Sally’s) Call

All this hockey insanity (I still have the Mojo Octopus in my jaws. It has been bolted and booby-trapped and possibly wired with explosive dino poop, so again, step off) means that I haven’t checked in with Cat and her jaunty hat lately to give you advice from a dinosaur’s perspective.

Let’s see what delicious nuggets of wisdom she wrote this week:

DEAR CAT: Last year at this time I was diagnosed with cancer and began months of chemotherapy. I am happy to say I beat it and am now cancer-free! My question to you is: Am I damaged goods, so to speak, when it comes to women and dating now? I am a single, straight, never-been-married, educated thirtysomething male. I’m pretty average-looking and in decent shape. I have a great family and wonderful friends. Why am I still single? I have always been a “friend” to girls, not a “boyfriend,” and I don’t know why. Since I’ve had limited success in the past with women, it seems that being a cancer survivor is a strike against me. I appreciate your thoughts. — DAMAGED GOODS?

REX’S CALL: I’m a guy. A giant, handsome, muscular guy, so I didn’t think I could offer advice to you about this, so I asked my girlfriend Sally to give you advice.  She said:

SALLY’S CALL: Mmmmmmmrawr. Cancer survivors are hot. Don’t tell Rex.

Uh, Sally, I’M RIGHT HERE! God.

Anyway, sir, you’re not damaged goods. Go find yourself a girl, grab her by the shoulders, show her a scar and say, “Yo. I beat cancer. Kiss me.”

How do you think I landed Sally? I grabbed her and said, “Yo. I beat the extinction. Kiss me.”

Rawr.


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