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Hi, I'm Rex, I'm a dinosaur and this is my blog.

Rex

Dinosaur, tranq thyself.

Okay, so listen. Norm is off today and he has left me with specific anti-destruction instructions that go something like this: “Don’t destroy anything in my absence or we will melt you down.”

Problem, SOMEONE STOLE MY FRICKIN’ OCTOPUS WHILE I WAS SLEEPING!

Are you kidding me?

This explains why the Pens lost and lost so miserably. Someone took the octopus and gave the Red Wings their mojo back.

Here are the people I’m currently stalking, believing they may have taken it:

1. “Dr.” Matt Lamanna. This might be wishful thinking on my part so that I finally have a legitimate excuse to give him the stretchy treatment. That’s when I grab your legs in one hand, your arms in the other and, well, you get the picture.

2. Whoever took my running shoes.

3. Scott Mervis. I will destroy him.

4. Barney. He just LOOKS like he would support a team that had a purple mascot. This also might be wishful thinking on my part so that I finally have a legitimate excuse to [redacted by Norm's boss].

5.  Marian Hossa. I WILL DESTROY HIM!

So, I’m going to be out and about for the remainder of the day trying to get to the bottom of this.

I need three volunteers:

  • One to find me a new octopus, dead or alive.
  • One to stand outside the Post-Gazette building and let me know if Scott Mervis shows the whites of his eyes.
  • One to tranq me when it finally really truly hits me that SOMEONE STOLE MY FRICKIN’ OCTOPUS.

RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!


2 Comments

  1. I’ll buy you some new running shoes if you destroy Marian Hossa, even if he didn’t steal your octopus.


    Comment by george on June 8, 2009 @ 5:43 pm
  2. Oh noes! Whoever stole from our favorite dinosaur should be ashamed!

    I will say this CR, the only person who could take the octopus without waking you up must be a ninja. *nod nod*


    Comment by bloop on June 8, 2009 @ 9:04 pm

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