1. No posting yesterday because I was busy with Jake, finalizing plans for the super secret caper we’re going to pull off that has nothing to do with a certain 35 lb. cup-like trophy currently residing somewhere in Sewickley. Nothing at all.
2. On twitter, I saw this from an adoring fan:
Well, you need only take a look at the movie poster and you’ll quickly see that this will be the greatest movie of this human generation and that it will win every single Oscar next year, even the foreign language film. It’s going to be that epic.
Woolly mammoth. Mmmm. Plus, they come already equipped with after-meal toothpicks.
3. Are you jealous that Norm gets to hang out with a giant awesome dinosaur all the time? Do you wish you could get your own giant awesome dinosaur to wrangle and yell at and tranq?
Now, for the low low price of $48,000, you kind of can!
4. Now, brace yourselves for some Math!
1 fearsome handsome dinosaur +
6 months +
20 hours of classes per week -
3 hours of necessary sleep per night +
1 time suctioning mentee
+ 35 tranqings
I’m spending next week visiting my friends all around the world.
First stop, Scotland to visit my best friend Lester. Here we are swimming in the lake the last time I was able to get out for a visit:
Ah, I can already hear the relaxing sounds of nature and the horrified screams of the people.
Someone be sure to check in on Norm for me from time to time, okay? I’m sure he’s going to miss having me around for target practice.
See you in a week!