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Hi, I'm Rex, I'm a dinosaur and this is my blog.

Rex

The Truthiest Truth

It was announced a day ago that the 2009 NFL season will begin with a Thursday night game September 10 between The Pittsburgh Steelers and The Tennessee Titans.

As King of Steeler Nation (you can try to argue with me about that self-bestowed title, but if I bite you and there’s no one around to hear you scream, do you make a sound?  Think about that.), I want to remind you of what happened the last time the Steelers played the Titans.

Are you dry-heaving like I am at the gross sight of this sacrilege?

The stomping.  The snotting.  It’s all just too much for your friend Rex.

I’m a Burgh transplant, it is true.  I wasn’t born here.  Heck, when I was born, there wasn’t even a HERE here.

Having lived in Pittsburgh for some time now, I have learned some truths — truths like “french fries make everything taste better” or “there’s no such thing as too much hairspray” or “you must brake before the entrance to every tunnel or your car will explode.”

But the biggest truth — the truthiest truth of them all — never ever ever desecrate The Terrible Towel or bad things will happen to you.  Things like asteroids and ice ages and not being able to score a single point against the Colts in your very next game after you did that terrible thing like stomping on and snotting on the Terrible Towel.

So I’ll be watching September 10 to see what awesome bad things are going to happen to the Titans.

If I may be so bold, since I am a giant and all, I’d like to volunteer to wipe my snots with Keith Bulluck and then throw him to the ground before I stomp him good.

Free of charge.  Out of the goodness of my heart.

Rawr.


era: Cenozoic. species:

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